True or False? Ignorance is Bliss

Funny how we were all born asking, "why?" When my newborn babies screamed for ...well, just about everything... my heart's desire was that they would understand "why" they have to wait just a little longer. As young children, my heart broke again and again wishing they would understand "why" I told them no. I always thought it would be easier if they could understand my reasoning, my perspective, my decisions. How many times have I tried to teach them life lessons by pointing out the "why" around us? Helping my girls understand "why" has been my sole-focus for the last 13 years.

Kass understands full-well what is involved in her pending surgery. She understands medically "why" she needs the procedure. She understands scientifically "why" the surgery is filled with complexity and unknowns, and "why" the recovery will be "annoying" at best. She can even comprehend and answer "why" this is happening to her on a both a deeper philosophical as well as theological level. Better than I, she can articulate "why" God is allowing this in her life.

I finally "succeeded" to help my baby logically work through the "why's" of life. But like most things, it's not as glamorous as I thought it would be. As proud as I am of her personal achievement, my heart now breaks that she faces the answers to the "why"; sometimes the answer isn't what we want it to be. She has resolve and determination. She is bracing for life fully with a bravery I didn't know she had in her.

Selfishly, this mama bear wants to stay in the cave with her cubs where Ignorance is Bliss. Foolishly, I want to keep the "why's" of life safe and within specific boundaries I set. How many times have I said, "I'll tell you 'why' when you are older. For now, just trust that what I say is true."? I find myself pining for past days of ignorance. Kass' full comprehension seems more difficult to watch than if she'd be a little more naive.

I suppose I've reached the point where the master becomes the student; where the child's inner-strength so surpasses the parents, that there is no longer any wisdom to impart. Praise the One who has prepared her for this. May He give this weary mom some of that strength to watch Kass go through this.

I keep thinking of the story of Esther; how Esther had to leave her people and do what she was called to do. Esther 4:14b "And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" I, like Mordecai after his crying, wailing, sackcloth-ing, ash-ing spell, can only carry out her wishes of praying and fasting, and asking others to do the same. This is HER TIME to serve her King. Like Esther, Kass has the perspective, "If I perish, I perish." My baby is no longer daddy's little princess asking "why"; Kassarah is a beautiful Queen.